Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Short Goodbye

It wasn't even mildly amusing to see George W. Bush almost bump his head, Gerald Ford-style, in the door of the presidential helicopter whilst making his much anticipated departure from the White House lawn; flying to a nearby base, he would there be taken to his last stay at Camp David. It was the departure of a pagliaccio on his way to a final aria, or, if the Italian is inappropriate, then perhaps a bit of Spanish slang, a payaso. (Some might cavil it should be pendejo, but that's another matter.) This was the Bush who couldn't open doors, said "nuculer." and doesn't know the difference between a "character" and a "characteristic." English teachers wanted to cover their students' ears every time Bush gave a speech. He's a good ol' cheerleading boy only a father could love. How else could he get into Yale and actually graduate?

The detritus in his wake manifested itself immediately, with House minority leader John Boehner equating the Gitmo closure (which actually has a 12-month deadline) and criticizing a supposed lack of planning with, e.g., the Iraqi Misadventure, using rhetorical sleight-of-hand in a silly attempt to be the first GOP to draw and fire on Obama. An equally obnoxious Louisianna senator, caught red-handed screwing prostitutes while his wife was home playing trophy mom, dissed Obama's finance nominee. And then there is that smug, sappy-faced Mitch McComical mumbling about one thing and another -- don't the voters in the states that send these people to D.C. realize they're voting for self-serving snake oil salesmen? Their only virtue, these hacks, is bringing home the pork, and that would appear to be overdrawn at the bank, Obama signaling as much with his ban on lobbying by ex-staff members.

Then, there's that jackass John Cornyn. I begged his opponent's staff by email exchange to beg, borrow, or steal the footage of the John McCain photo op where he introduced, and was introduced by, his then "spiritual advisor," the Rev. John Hagee. There was Cornyn, that silver-haired serpent himself, standing all goofy-faced with Hagee and McCain. Shortly thereafter, Johnny Boy would have to throw Hagee under the bus: it came out that the "reverand" thought Hitler was a gift from "God" because the Jewish diaspora brought about the establishment of a Jewish state in the "Holy" land. Hey, folks, that is a necessary step in the Rapture scenario, which about a third of Americans believe. I still want to print a bumper sticker saying, "I DON'T MIND RAPTURE, I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS." (Yeah, I know, a rip-off of Woody Allen, but it works.)

It did Michelle no good to kiss Bush. Condi has been doing that for years (as well as other things we may never know). It is hard for some to grasp an administration that holds a meeting to approve of the torture of various specific detainees, enemy combatants, and so forth. Ms. Rice has been quoted as having Freudian slips in which she has imagined George W. to be her husband. Perhaps she could get a job at the Supreme Court, where one of the current justices has the best porn collection outside the Vatican and likes to force himself on co-worker women by saying things like, "Is that a pubic hair on my Coke can?"

God Damn! I am glad to see this bunch take a hike.

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