Sunday, April 19, 2009

Three Little Pigs

Porky, Hammy, and Chops, official protectors of the tax break for the 2% of Americans who have all the nation's money....

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Dick Cheney in Hell

Dick has had his final heart attack and awakens in Hell. Satan comes into his room and welcomes him to Hades, which looks something like a motel room. Satan welcomes Dick and says, "You did some fine things for me up there: casting the tie-breaking vote in favor of that huge tax giveaway to the super rich; sending all those nice young men to die in Iraq; outing that poor Plame woman the way you and Scooter did; talking that silly twit Dubya into torturing all those people. My God, man, you did us proud!"

Cheney smiles and, through the side of his mouth, replies: "Well, I suppose that means I am to be an honored guest here?"

Satan says: "Most decidedly. We're going to party! I've got a lot of blue agave tequila and some fine Culiacan coke, and we can look at some fuck movies and enjoy! We can fuck ourselves, lots of good orgiastic sex."

Cheney says: "You want me to come to your place for the party?"

Satan says: "Oh, no, no, don't bother. We can do it right here. Just gonna be me and you."

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Granholm for President

Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm is hot. She should be nominated by the Dems for the Top Job.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pontiactus Non Extantus

In the mid to late 60's and early 70s, I owned a Pontiac Firebird. It was a classy car. I might have bought it to impress my friend Stephen Silverman, who drove a Datsun 340-Z, which I personally thought a piece of shit but never mentioned it to him, as he let me borrow it a time or two. I liked the Firebird and drove it through the early 70s gas crisis, with the long lines only to arrive at the pump posted with a sign: SORRY, NO GAS. Now that GM is going on the dole (and I don't mean bananas) they've promised to put their Pontiac division to rest. Pontiac had a huge reputation from its manufacture of aircraft engines during the war. The car ran well, but pseudo-sport models of any brand all were gas guzzlers. I eventually sold it to my brother Terry for about $75, informing him that it would cost a lot of money just filling it up with oil: it had a major leak and was virtually irreparable. Such is my experience with Pontiac. Sad, sad, sad....

Saturday, February 07, 2009

My Chat With Wen Jiabao

I had a good long "talk" with the Chinese premier the other night, having stumbled onto him in the chat room, "Pacific Interests" by utter coincidence. I was asking how to make a good kung pao shrimp and he IM'd me with his own version, plus some advice for the United States. He said, "Your country must learn two new rules. One, quit having so many babies. Two, your next war of choice will be at someone else's expense. We can't half-sole Mr. Bush's shoes." When I protested that the economies of China and the U.S. are mutually dependent, he said, "then why are you asking me about kung pao shrimps?"

Wen coaxed said "We are puzzled by democracy. In a country that would re-elect Bush, if that is will of people then you only get president you deserve. Cowboy person. The only reason al Qaeda has not attacked you is because you redirected their attention to problems with Shias in Iraq once the U.S. invaded and allowed a Shia government to execute Saddam. You forget, bin Laden bides his time. He has time and God on his side."

I asked him what he thought of Citizen Dick Cheney's claim that the Obama administration will fumble the ball on security, allowing another mass attack by Jihadists. Wen said: "He knows that is bunk. If terrorists hit you again, look to Mideastern sectarian squabbles. By dividing Shia against Sunni you give Israel a bit of time is all."

The Time Has Come

It's time we nationalized our banking system in the manner of the Swedes.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Short Goodbye

It wasn't even mildly amusing to see George W. Bush almost bump his head, Gerald Ford-style, in the door of the presidential helicopter whilst making his much anticipated departure from the White House lawn; flying to a nearby base, he would there be taken to his last stay at Camp David. It was the departure of a pagliaccio on his way to a final aria, or, if the Italian is inappropriate, then perhaps a bit of Spanish slang, a payaso. (Some might cavil it should be pendejo, but that's another matter.) This was the Bush who couldn't open doors, said "nuculer." and doesn't know the difference between a "character" and a "characteristic." English teachers wanted to cover their students' ears every time Bush gave a speech. He's a good ol' cheerleading boy only a father could love. How else could he get into Yale and actually graduate?

The detritus in his wake manifested itself immediately, with House minority leader John Boehner equating the Gitmo closure (which actually has a 12-month deadline) and criticizing a supposed lack of planning with, e.g., the Iraqi Misadventure, using rhetorical sleight-of-hand in a silly attempt to be the first GOP to draw and fire on Obama. An equally obnoxious Louisianna senator, caught red-handed screwing prostitutes while his wife was home playing trophy mom, dissed Obama's finance nominee. And then there is that smug, sappy-faced Mitch McComical mumbling about one thing and another -- don't the voters in the states that send these people to D.C. realize they're voting for self-serving snake oil salesmen? Their only virtue, these hacks, is bringing home the pork, and that would appear to be overdrawn at the bank, Obama signaling as much with his ban on lobbying by ex-staff members.

Then, there's that jackass John Cornyn. I begged his opponent's staff by email exchange to beg, borrow, or steal the footage of the John McCain photo op where he introduced, and was introduced by, his then "spiritual advisor," the Rev. John Hagee. There was Cornyn, that silver-haired serpent himself, standing all goofy-faced with Hagee and McCain. Shortly thereafter, Johnny Boy would have to throw Hagee under the bus: it came out that the "reverand" thought Hitler was a gift from "God" because the Jewish diaspora brought about the establishment of a Jewish state in the "Holy" land. Hey, folks, that is a necessary step in the Rapture scenario, which about a third of Americans believe. I still want to print a bumper sticker saying, "I DON'T MIND RAPTURE, I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS." (Yeah, I know, a rip-off of Woody Allen, but it works.)

It did Michelle no good to kiss Bush. Condi has been doing that for years (as well as other things we may never know). It is hard for some to grasp an administration that holds a meeting to approve of the torture of various specific detainees, enemy combatants, and so forth. Ms. Rice has been quoted as having Freudian slips in which she has imagined George W. to be her husband. Perhaps she could get a job at the Supreme Court, where one of the current justices has the best porn collection outside the Vatican and likes to force himself on co-worker women by saying things like, "Is that a pubic hair on my Coke can?"

God Damn! I am glad to see this bunch take a hike.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Why Obama MUST End the Super Rich Giveaway

I had not seen the figures before. I had only heard Faux News' claim (that twit Brit Hume was the chief culprit) that the super rich already "pay the most taxes." A Vanity Fair article, "Fairwell to All That" (Feb. 2009) shows just how irrelevant and misleading this statement is: the May, 2001 tax cut was "skewed heavily toward the affluent," and the figures and percentages tell the tale. Persons making $1 million a year paid an average of $53,000 in taxes, while persons making $20,000 a year saw their taxes cut by only $375. Do the math: the million-a-year taxpayer's bill totaled 5%; the $20K taxpayer, 18% (more than three times more). This is fundamentally unfair.

Ronald Reagan introduced the concept of a "trickle-down economy," which he and budget director David Stockman dubbed "supply side economics." It did not work then, and it isn't working now. (In fact, Stockman later quipped that he'd only been joking when he came up with the idea, and had no idea Ronnie Boy would actually put it into effect.) The super rich do not invest their gazillions in anything benefitting the poor and middle class (and that embraces most of us). Instead, they buy toys, like private jets, and invest their gargantuan discretionary monies in hedge funds and other things designed to do nothing but make them richer still. They do not NEED tax breaks.

Obama ran on a platform promising an end to crony cuts in taxes. As the Vanity Fair article pointed out, the loss of tax revenue based on the 13% difference between the two segments of the population resulted in a budget deficit of $400 billion by 2004. This was money that could have improved the infrastructure, funded "No Child Left Behind," and mortgage restructuring. In effect, Bush became a reverse Robin Hood, robbing the poor and middle class and lining the pockets of the filthy rich. Even the fabulously wealthy Warren Buffet said it was a total rip-off.


Put tax reform at the top of your list of priorities and many of our economic problems will be solved. DO IT NOW!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009's Take on the GWB Parting Shots sat through George W. Bush's final press conference, an orgy of self-promotion and parting gripes with the liberal media, the latest installment in the ongoing magic makeover of the 43rd presidential administration that came on the heels of a Faux News "interview" with Prick Cheney. I thought the report so exceptionally done and keenly observed, I would preserve it here, interspersed with the Doctor's comments, set off in italics.

Bush's 'Ultimate Exit Interview'

Yesterday, President Bush appeared before the White House press corps for his 47th -- and last -- full-scale press conference, taking questions in what he called "the ultimate exit interview." Though the White House had high expectations for Bush's farewell meeting with the media, telling reporters that it would be "standing room only," the last two rows in the seven-row briefing room were empty. Subsequently, a press aide had to tell White House interns to fill the seats.***

Isn't this par for the course? I mean, any administration that gets caught red-handed planting a stud hustler in the press room to ask planned questions designed to make it look good is an administration that would go to any lengths to persuade us that it continues to have the love and respect of the American people even as polls show it in a downward spiral even as the economy heads south as well. Planting a claque into a photo op goes hand in hand with the refusal to allow photographs of the bagged bodies coming in from Baghdad, providing Sean Hannity with the latest GOP talking points, and a myriad of other attempts to manipulate public opinion in an ongoing effort to become the least transparent administration in history.

***Despite job approval ratings around or below 30 percent since February 2007, Bush "seemed largely in good spirits" as he pontificated on his years in office.

A wise choice of words: Remember, this is the president who referred to his "war on terror" as a "crusade," immediately informing those who Bush's good friend Ann Coulter characterizes as "swarthy" Mideastern types that jihad is on the table. Bush was in fact the Pope of Profiteering, as witness all of the army functions that were privitized for the benefit of crony corporations that did not even have to submit to competitive bidding. The only reasons Bush's approval ratings are so high is that Americans are sentimental. Some folks just feel sorry for him.

***Bush "was by turns impassioned and defiant, reflective and light-hearted, even as he conceded that some things 'didn't go according to plan,'" notes the New York Times.

Actually, nothing he did went "according to plan," as even his crony appointments had disastrous blowback for him. First, he praised the "fine work" of "Brownie" of FEMA fame -- the man who learned just what America's school districts found with "No child left behind": the Bush administration was all talk and no substance. No help for Katrina victims, no rebuilding of New Orleans. Brownie became the symbol of Bush's buddy system. One was reminded of the scene in John Ford's The Last Hurrah, where the savvy old Irish pol, running for mayor one last time, talks his opponent's halfwit sun into donning a fire chief's hat so that photographs can be taken for the morning edition. Brownie was made to look like a fool; one imagines him having a stiff drink with Colin Powell following the latter's ultimately humiliating U.N. speech, talking about "weapons of mass destruction."

***"Clearly putting a 'Mission Accomplished' on an aircraft carrier was a mistake," said Bush. "Running the Social Security idea right after the '04 elections was a mistake." Bush continued his administration's efforts to paint his legacy in a positive light, declaring that he had "a good, strong record."

Poor George! He's a person only a father could love. (That tough old broad, Barbara Pierce Bush probably gave up on him years ago.) The "Mission Accomplished" banner was Bush's fire chief's hat, providing anti-war liberals with all the ammo they needed to paint the prez as a village idiot. In fact, it was about this time that sales of a bumper sticker along these lines began to skyrocket: SOME VILLAGE IN TEXAS HAS LOST ITS IDIOT. Even GOPS thought ill of the Social Security overhaul. Oh, sure, the neocons were dead set on dismantling entirely the New Deal reforms of FDR, but the more middle-of-the-road among them thought the idea of privitizing social security a certain way to lose their seat in the next election. Claiming his is a "good, strong recor" is simply laughable.

***Unfortunately for Bush, the American public believes his administration "will be remembered more for its failures than its accomplishments."

Excuse me! WHAT accomplishments.

***Asked if he "made any mistakes" while in office, Bush said he had "thought long and hard about Katrina" and admitted that "things [could] have been done better." However, he denied any problem with the federal response to the disaster, insisting, "Don't tell me the federal response was slow." The fact is that the federal response was disastrously slow. As the White House itself acknowledged in a February 2006 report, "the response to Hurricane Katrina revealed a lack of familiarity with incident management, planning discipline, and field-level crisis leadership." A 2006 report compiled by House Republicans slammed what it called "a failure of leadership," saying that the federal government's "blinding lack of situational awareness and disjointed decision making needlessly compounded and prolonged Katrina's horror." The report specifically blamed Bush, noting that "earlier presidential involvement could have speeded the response" because the President alone could have cut through bureaucratic resistance. In fact, despite a FEMA official's eyewitness accounts of New Orleans's levees being breached starting at 7 p.m. on Aug. 29, the Bush administration "did not consider them confirmed" until 11 hours later. FEMA did not order the evacuation of New Orleans until 1:30 a.m. on Aug. 31, two full days after Katrina made landfall. Bush even praised the rescue efforts as a "pretty good response."

Yes, and thouands of taxpayer-purchased mobile homes that sat, rotting, in a field -- which, as it turns out, is just as well: those who were given manufactured housing have health problems associated with leaking formaldehyde and other toxic chemicals from the walls of the units. The recent PBS Frontline interview with an elderly African-American who stubbornly refused to leave New Orleans pointed up the lasting human miseries of those affected: the man's large family is now cast to the winds. He struggled to get insurance money, then money from a program designed to pay off what the carriers did not cover, but he continues to have problems, not the least of which is his isolation from relatives. The point is, the Bush administration just did not care about the mostly-black population of New Orleans.

***Asked about President-elect Obama's desire to restore "America's moral standing in the world," Bush bristled at the idea, saying, "I strongly disagree with the assessment that our moral standing has been damaged."

What parallel universe is this nitwit living in? The so-called "Coalition of the Willing" early on revealed sane nations' reluctance to become involved in a Mideastern misadventure prior to the exhaustion of diplomatic efforts, and it is somewhat questionable that we would have ANY friends other than that girlie man running England at the time once the Big Lies started circulating, e.g. WMD's and an al Qaeda link (the latter simply defying logic, given that bin Laden's jihadist methods in furtherance of theocratic ends were just a little bit incompatible with Saddam's Westernized state.

***"It may be damaged amongst some of the elite, but people still understand America stands for freedom, that America is a country that provides such great hope." But it isn't just "the elite" who question the negative effect that Bush's presidency has had on America's standing in the world. As a Gallup fact-check of Bush's comments points out, 69 percent of Americans believe that the "U.S. position in the world" lost ground under Bush. According to the Pew Global Attitudes Project, "positive views of the United States declined in 26 of the 33 countries where the question was posed in both 2002 and 2007." "Mounting discontent with U.S. foreign policy over the last eight years has translated into a concern about American power. In the view of much of the world, the United States has played the role of bully in the school yard, throwing its weight around with little regard for others' interests," according to Pew.

As another GOP president was wont to say to debate opponents, "There you go again!" What IS it with this "elites"? Does everyone who takes issue with his Napoleanic ambitions qualify as an "elite"? Since when did "elite" become synomous with most of the press, the anti-war movement and liberals in general, and all those who dared criticize our unilateral, preemptive strike against a country that posed little if any actual threat? Remember, John McShame tried to label Obama as an "elitist": remember the Power Point ad showing Barrack with the likes of Paris Hilton? "Elite" is GOP base code for "liberal." Those international polls speak for themselves. It amazes me to learn that almost eighty percent of the world's peoples thought badly of the U.S.A. due to GWB policies. Clearly, the overwhelming support and good will we enjoyed after 9/11 were simply squandered on Bush's Folly.

***Asked to give his "closing message" to the American people about his economic policies, Bush acknowledged that "obviously these are very difficult economic times" while deflecting much responsibility for the economy's troubles. "This problem started before my presidency, it obviously took place during my presidency," said Bush.

Actually, Bush is right here. But if the Clinton administration put Reaganism on steroids, deregulating financial entities and encouraging bizarre experimentation in the mortage industry even as the White House thwarted all meaningful plans for oversight. Which hardly exonerates Bush. If anything, he exacerbated the problems and revved up the deregulation. Cronies in significant positions had nothing to do.

***He also vigorously defended his 2001 and 2003 tax cuts, adding that he "will defend them after my presidency as the right course of action." "There's a fundamental philosophical debate about tax cuts," said Bush. "Who best can spend your money, the government or you? I've always sided with the people on that issue."

He did NOT side with the people. He sided with less than one percent of the country, given huge tax breaks at the expense of the poor and Middleclass America. Trickle-down doesn't work. The super-rich simply hoard or invest their bucks in something they think will bring the biggest bang.

But as the Washington Post noted yesterday, Bush "has presided over the weakest eight-year span for the U.S. economy in decades." The federal government "had a modest budget surplus when Bush took office," but his administration ran up deficits "even as the economy was growing at a healthy pace." When Bush took office, it was projected that the federal government would run a $710 billion budget surplus in 2009. Now, the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities has calculated that Bush's tax cuts accounted for 42 percent of the fiscal deterioration between 2001 and 2008. Though Bush claims he "sided with the people" through his economic policies, he really just squandered their money.

To say the least.